What Is a Smile Parasite?
A Smile Parasite is a rare species that exists exclusively in the Country of Mickey Mouse.
It feeds on one primary resource: human smiles.
This may explain why smiling is considered a suspicious activity in Mickey Mouse Land. People there know better. They’ve learned—through pain, confusion, and emotional dehydration—that smiling in public is basically open buffet night for parasites.
(That’s just a theory, of course. You’ll never know for a fact. Nothing here is ever official.)
How to Identify a Smile Parasite
Smile Parasites always appear in human form, usually young—or at least desperately pretending to be.
They will smile at you, but:
- The smile never reaches the eyes
- Or it reaches everywhere and overshoots into something disturbingly theatrical
Some specimens will discreetly point their phone camera at you to capture this “beautiful human moment.” Naturally, they won’t tell you they’re recording. Parasites value privacy—theirs, not yours.
How Do Smile Parasites Feed?
Psychology tells us humans are hard-wired to smile back when someone smiles at them.
Smile Parasites took notes.
What was once a symbol of friendliness and free method to get people in a better mood is now a drainage mechanism.
Here’s the feeding ritual:
- The parasite locks eyes with the target
- It smiles
- The human smiles back (rookie mistake)
- The parasite immediately erases its smile
- Confusion appears on the human’s face
- The parasite deploys its antenna (usually the tongue)
- Energy is harvested
Efficient. Elegant. Soulless.
How to Deal With Smile Parasites
Even if you learn to identify them, some will still slip through. That means one unfortunate truth:
You must stop smiling at people you don’t know.
Yes, it sounds harsh. Yes, it feels anti-social.
But in Mickey Mouse Land, kindness is not free—it’s taxed heavily, usually in energy.
Smile Parasites also communicate with each other. If you smile too easily, congratulations:
You’ve just been added to a shared feeding list.
Final Note
In the Country of Mickey Mouse, smiling isn’t warmth, it’s currency.
And parasites always know where the money is.
