Life often feels like a game with unspoken rules—some people manipulate, others deceive, and we’re expected to play along. But what if you don’t want to? Should manipulation and dishonesty be accepted as normal, or is there another way to live authentically? Let’s explore these questions step by step, in a way that makes sense for everyone.
Is Life a Game We Must Play?
At some point, we all feel pressured to play along with behaviors that don’t sit right with us. Maybe someone is being dishonest to get ahead, or manipulating others to serve their own interests. It can feel like everyone around us is just “playing the game,” and we’re expected to join in.
But is it really a game we must play? Psychologists say manipulation often comes from a place of self-interest, where someone prioritizes their needs over others. It might be common, but that doesn’t make it right—or necessary. Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said that many people go through life following the crowd, giving up their power to fit in. But that doesn’t mean you have to do the same.
What Happens When People Push You?
Have you ever felt like others were trying to steer your life in a direction you didn’t choose? Friends, family, colleagues, or even strangers might push you, subtly or directly, toward choices that benefit them, not you. It’s frustrating and confusing, especially if you don’t understand their motives.
This is where the idea of personal agency comes in. Agency means having the ability to decide your own path. Psychologists talk about the locus of control—whether you believe you control your life (internal locus) or that external forces do (external locus). When you start questioning why people are pushing you, you’re taking back control. You’re saying, “I won’t just follow blindly.”
Why Should You Follow Anyone’s Plan?
The frustration of feeling manipulated might remind you of bigger questions, like why some people believe in higher powers or plans they can’t understand. You might think, “If I don’t even follow God’s mysterious plans, why would I follow the plans of ordinary people who try to control me?”
This question echoes the thoughts of existentialist thinkers like Albert Camus. He argued that life doesn’t come with a built-in purpose—we create meaning for ourselves. Rejecting plans (whether divine or human) that don’t align with your values isn’t rebellion; it’s self-respect. Your life is yours to shape.
How Do You Live Authentically?
So, if you’re not going to follow someone else’s plans, what’s the alternative? Living authentically. That means being honest with yourself about what you want and making choices based on your values, not pressure from others.
Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust, believed that even in the most difficult situations, people could find meaning by choosing how they respond. Similarly, philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson urged people to rely on their own judgment rather than conforming to others’ expectations. These ideas remind us that authenticity isn’t just about rejecting dishonesty—it’s about actively creating a life that feels true to you.
Putting It All Together
Manipulation and dishonesty might be common, but they’re not inevitable. When others try to steer your life, you don’t have to follow. Whether it’s rejecting someone’s subtle push or a larger belief system that doesn’t make sense to you, the decision is always yours.
Life might feel like a game, but you don’t have to play by someone else’s rules. Instead, you can focus on living authentically—questioning, choosing, and creating a life that reflects who you are. As Camus said, “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” So rebel. Live authentically. And make the game your own.
