What to do when you like a man… who likes someone else?
The answer is simple: cheat! Bribe fate! Form an alliance with the devil—just be sure to wear heels when you do it.
Step 1: Emotional Blackmail (Premium Edition)
Start strong. Make him wait. Really wait. Like “his birthday passes in silence” kind of wait.
Why? Because he had the audacity—the audacity—to spend another birthday in silence for another woman.
Justice must be served, even if it comes with emotional blackmailing and a side of ghosting.
Step 2: Weaponize Sympathy
Tell him you’ve got more emotional baggage than an airport carousel.
Whether it’s heartbreak, a dozen imaginary diagnoses, or a tragic backstory involving a haunted toaster—make him feel responsible.
Let him believe his patience is saving your soul, when in reality, there is nothing holds you back from texting even if you were sick but you’re just stretching the drama to meet your entertainment quota.
Step 3: Equilibrium? Never Heard of Her.
Once he’s proven himself worthy by surviving your silence and decoding your mixed signals—don’t stop now.
Raise the bar again. And again.
Ask him to prove his loyalty by waiting for you to get over your imaginary heartbreak from a man you never dated.
Declare that only a man who climbs emotional Mount Everest without oxygen deserves your good morning text.
Because really, who cares about the method—when the judge wants YOU to win?
He was just trying to help? Too bad.
He offered kindness with no expectations? Meh.
A win is a win, even if it’s staged, rigged, and held together with glitter glue and gaslighting.
But wait—plot twist:
Some men know the game.
They nod, smile, play along… not to win you, but to demonstrate to the world and their inner courtroom of conscience that not even a global empathy shortage would justify helping you again.
And the moment they realize the game is a circus, they leave—not because they lost, but because the show wasn’t worth the popcorn.
Because for them, the method still matters.
