Actors in Play: Enablers, strategically deployed for maximum irritation.
Target: The poor soul, whose only crime is minding his own business.
Worst-Case Outcome: The poor soul gets intimidated and stays home.
Best-Case Outcome: The poor soul gets angry, reacts, and lands himself in jail.
The Genius Plan: Get Him Out of His Lane
The Puppet Master’s latest brainchild? A foolproof (read: completely pointless) plan to knock the poor soul off his path using nothing but low-level theatrics.
Instead of, say, finding a productive hobby, they decided to send in the enablers—one by one—each with a single goal: irritate, intimidate, or provoke.
Step 1: The Sidewalk Standoff
Enter Enabler 1—a master of the aggressive sidewalk strut.
Despite ample walking space, he decides the best course of action is to march directly in the poor soul’s lane, exuding dominance like a silverback gorilla on a discovery channel special.
The expectation? The poor soul will engage in a territorial dispute, proving once and for all that humans are just fancy animals.
What actually happened?
The poor soul dodged slightly to the side and kept moving, leaving Enabler 1 to bask in his own manufactured tension.
Step 2: The Bus Stop Tantrum
Enter Enabler 2, a man who definitely does NOT need to catch the bus but absolutely needs to make a scene at the bus stop.
Task? Knock on the advertisement frames with sheer rage—all while keeping laser focus on the poor soul.
The message? “This aggression is directed at YOU.”
The expected reaction? Fear, confrontation, or confusion.
What actually happened?
The poor soul glanced over, immediately recognized this circus was for his benefit, and mentally gave it a 3/10 for creativity.
Step 3: The Supermarket Showdown
And finally, the plot twist: Enabler 3—a woman, ready to take up the testosterone-fueled challenge.
The poor soul, already unimpressed with the previous episodes of this soap opera, watched as she engaged in a territorial supermarket stare-down.
At this point, he couldn’t help but wonder:
“Since when do women engage in these testosterone matches?”
“What happened to the world?”
“Or maybe… just maybe… this is simply the wrong woman at the wrong time?”
Either way, he smiled and left.
Moral of the Story?
If your master plan involves choreographing street performances in the hopes that someone overreacts, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life choices.
As for the poor soul? He’s not playing the game. And nothing frustrates a puppet master more than a target who refuses to dance.
