The Traveling Circus Nobody Asked For
I have written about a circus before — not the kind that entertains children, but the kind that bores adults to death or, if they’re lucky, teaches them sarcasm as a survival skill.
The circus started in a supermarket, then migrated to a school, and now the stage, tents, and sound system are being installed in a place where work and serious conversations are supposed to happen. Progress, apparently.
I have also written about the Golden Boy — the same Golden Boy who later shed tears because I dared to mention only his negative traits and ignored his super powers.
A tragic oversight on my part.
So, to correct this injustice, this article is dedicated entirely to his special ability.
The Super Power: Turning Reality into a Circus
The Golden Boy’s super power is simple yet devastating:
he can turn any place in the Country of Mickey Mouse into a circus merely by showing up.
No tools. No warning. No consent.
Once he bangs his drum, people begin to dance unconsciously and foolishly, as if rhythm has officially replaced thought. Credit must be given where it’s due — the performances in the supermarket, the school, and even in a courtroom (a place where law is allegedly practiced) were remarkably consistent.
And yes, the Golden Boy is still responsible. Even if he didn’t perform every act himself, active participation through enthusiastic complicity counts just as well.
The last circus unfolded in a school, which I eventually had to abandon due to severe audio and visual pollution. Health comes first.
The Three Stages of Activation
The Golden Boy activates his power in three predictable stages.
Stage One: The Gentle Tap
He bangs the drum softly, acting as if he has good intentions.
“Just warming it up,” he suggests.
People believe him because he has authority — or they follow because they don’t want to experience that authority personally.
Stage Two: The Collective Dance
The drum grows louder. The magical tones intensify.
And suddenly people think:
“Yeah… why not? Let’s shake it.”
Logic quietly exits through the emergency door.
Stage Three: Elimination of the Immune
Finally, he identifies those who didn’t dance — the immune ones. These people are dangerous because they might wake others up.
So he sits on their legs and bangs his drum directly above their heads until discomfort appears. Once it does, he accuses them of being dramatic, villains, troublemakers — choosing conveniently from a list borrowed from another cartoon character.
The crowd is then invited to do the honorable thing: kick them out.
Encore or Final Act?
That’s how it worked last time.
Will it work again?
Will Mickey Mouse keep eating popcorn and watching the show from the background?
Only time will reveal whether the circus gets another season — or finally shuts down.
